Just as the message from church yesterday morning spoke about how even when God opens doors, the rooms we walk into may have benches where He wants us to wait, for me today was a day of waiting on the Lord. I woke up with a plan in mind of all of the things I needed to get done today, but now as the day draws to a close I can tell you that I didn't accomplish much today, at least in terms of checking things off of the list of things that need to be taken care of. God has been working on this part of my life for sometime now. I spent years driven by the self-developed need, and obsession, to 'accomplish' things. I would plan everything out and then start checking everything off. The measure of how good my day was had a direct correlation to how many things I was able to accomplish. If at the end of the day I hadn't gotten much done I felt like I had failed. I know that this is certainly not the way God would have me live, and He has been chiseling away at this part of who I have been for some time now.
Today I waited. I spent time reading and studying the Bible. I spent time praying, and just trying to listen. I argued with God, questioning 'why' about some very important parts of my life, seeking His guidance and expressing to Him my anguish and need for help and knowledge on how to move forward. I spent time feeling overwhelmed to the point I could hardly breathe. I felt uncomfortable and wanted to run, to pack up and just go home. I wanted to just sit down and cry feeling lonely and unsure about anything I am doing here. Believe me when I tell you that I went through the full range of emotions today. Ministry is hard. Ministry far away from home is even harder. This is particularly true when 'home' is where your family is and you are far away from them. It often feels like I am living two different lives: one at home with my family and my job, and one here in Haiti. I pray that somewhere there will be some kind of blending of the two, particularly where my family is concerned. But I am trusting that God will work all things out for good. I don't have all of the answers to what is going to happen, who we will serve here and in what specific capacities. I don't know which skills we will be able to teach, which dates we will have teams come to the Center, etc. But God has all of these answers already. Answers to these questions involve a lot of other people who will make decisions to serve God in Haiti, both short-term and long-term. Today He wanted to remind me that I don't have to figure it all out. He's got this and He wants me to learn to trust Him more. Prayer is so very important and I know I need to make more time for prayer, for bringing my concerns and questions before Him and having a conversation with the One who holds all of the answers.
I did work on paperwork for the ministry some today, and I went down to the house and got one of the bathrooms set up the best I could. It is really looking good. I do believe tomorrow I will be able to get some more of the things we need, especially some initial furniture. Tomorrow is my last day here until October 19. Then I will have a team with me and we can dig into the work! I am so excited about that trip!!! After dinner tonight me, Katelyn and Rachel helped Sherrie stuff and prepare envelopes for a mailout to child sponsors. Then Rachel made brownies! I had been craving chocolate all day and getting a brownie was an amazing blessing! What a perfect way to end the day.
Goodnight from Haiti!
Patricia
Monday, September 30, 2013
The house is looking good!
Continuing the blog from last night...
Saturday evening was spent having dinner with the group here at Sherrie's and meeting some more new people who have been doing medical clinics in the area all week. I am always amazed at how many people, with such a variety of gifts and passion for ministry, end up in Haiti. God has certainly orchestrated the body of Christ here. The lady that was in the group doing medical clinics shared with me a couple of things that I want to pass along, to give you an idea of why what we are preparing to do here is so important. This week they had a 2 year old little girl test positive for syphilis, but when they tested her mother she was negative. Abuse happens at such an early age here, and it is heart breaking to the point of anguish over what happens to so many children and women. Then she told me about something her group had seen here just after the earthquake in 2010. Apparently a Haitian lady had gone into labor before the earthquake hit, and was at a hospital where they had cut her open to perform a C-section. Before they were finished the earthquake hit and everyone left the building, leaving the woman open on the table. The woman was able (only God knows how) to craw out from under the rubble and out into the street, still cut open. She passed out somewhere along the way and eventually was seen by this medical team that was on the ground right after the earthquake. There was apparently a good Samaritan somewhere that had attempted to sew the lady up out on the street, but had done a horrible job. This team was able to fix her up, and later she was able to find her baby. Many women here give birth on their own, in their home or wherever they are when they go into labor. For many there is no access to healthcare, for them or their children, and many die from things that could have been prevented. The certainly gives you a perspective on how often we complain in the US about having to wait too long to see a doctor, or the many other complaints we have about medical care. The fact is that we have it. We have access to healthcare that far exceeds anything people here have access to, yet we take it for granted every day.
Sunday morning I went with Sherrie, David, Micah, and Rachel to Port Au Prince Fellowship for church. This was the first time I had been to an American/English-speaking church here in Haiti. The church was full of American missionaries, and some Haitians. It was nice to sing songs that are familiar and in my own language, and to be surrounded by so many others that are also here serving from far away. There are lots of families here with small children that haven given up everything they had back in the US to come here for something far greater. The message for the service was based on Colossians 3:1-10 where Paul told the Colossians that if they are raised with Christ they are to seek those things which are above, not those things here on earth. In verse 8 Paul gives specific things we are to put off, such as anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and filthy language. The message in the service used an analogy of sailing to discuss how we pursue our walk with the Lord. If we are sailing there are many forces pushing against us such as the wind, the waves, human error, etc. In "trimming the sails" we skillfully adjust to changing conditions. If we are headed in the wrong direction we need to correct our course. Often this happens in small steps we take that over time can take us way off course. It is important to recognize these happenings while they are still small and make corrections needed along the way before we end up too far off course, drifting further and further from God.
The message provided several areas where we can make these wrong steps if we are not careful:
1 Seeking Signs - Matthew 12:38-42
We must be careful to not take coincidental occurrences and automatically assign God's voice to it. We must seek God's voice through our direct relationship with Him.
2 Doors - 1 Corinthians 16:9
Spiritually mature Christians will see a door as an opportunity to pray. Sometimes the rooms we enter have a bench, and we are to wait upon God's timing and direction. In Haiti so many opportunities present themselves because the need is so great. It is easy to get involved in too many things and get burned out or use your resources ineffectively.
Colossians 4:2-4
3 Human Reasoning - Proverbs 14:12
Following our own reasoning without following God's guidance is to lack faith in God, doubt our ability to hear God, or to be afraid that we might not want to hear what He has to say. We may fear what others think about what God is telling us to do, especially if it is life changing. This is particularly difficult when other Christians don't seem to understand that God could ask you to do something radical.
Proverbs 3:5-8
4 Busyness - Luke 10:38-42
Busyness is wrong when God is there. If God is doing something we need to stop. If we sense God is trying to tell us something we need to wait and listen. Too often we keep moving and do not alter our schedule to be able to hear Him. We cannot expect God to work His way into our schedule.
5 Flesh - 2 Corinthians 10:3
When we are transformed by grace, we start strong with our reliance on God, but as time goes by we try to take back more and more of ourselves, wanting to be in control. Galatians 3:3
Our ministry will move, not because of us, but despite us.
The preacher went on to explain that as leaders we often feel like we have to be strong, that we are supposed to have all of the answers. But we should be willing to let others see us as human, showing our weakness, willing to ask for help. This puts the glory back in God's hand. I know that every step of the way in this ministry I have struggled with not having the answers. I have questioned how in the world I could do any of this, because this is so outside of my comfort zone, but that is when I have seen God in the strongest ways - when I have known without a shadow of a doubt that He is in control. As a very smart lady I know says, 'God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called'. I am very thankful for that!
After we returned from the service, I headed to the house to meet a lady that was coming to clean. Bless her heart, she started at about 11:30 and worked hard until almost 6 pm. Everything was so dirty and dusty. Today (Monday) she will return to finish the last two rooms. The floors were so shiny when she was finished!
While she was cleaning I was working on cleaning out some of the shelves and putting tin gas away. It was great to see things start going into the house! I am so thankful that this house has so much storage built in!
Mr. Richard, who is just wonderful, came down to the house to help me talk with Madame Bertha. We made arrangements for taking care of the remaining security bar installation on the upstairs doors and windows. We also talked to her about getting a dog and she was very happy about that, telling me that yes she knows that is important. It was a good day and I feel like we got quite a few things accomplished! Now, today I will work on getting some furniture and other supplies so we will be ready for our October 19 trip back down here!
Have a blessed day!
Patricia
Saturday evening was spent having dinner with the group here at Sherrie's and meeting some more new people who have been doing medical clinics in the area all week. I am always amazed at how many people, with such a variety of gifts and passion for ministry, end up in Haiti. God has certainly orchestrated the body of Christ here. The lady that was in the group doing medical clinics shared with me a couple of things that I want to pass along, to give you an idea of why what we are preparing to do here is so important. This week they had a 2 year old little girl test positive for syphilis, but when they tested her mother she was negative. Abuse happens at such an early age here, and it is heart breaking to the point of anguish over what happens to so many children and women. Then she told me about something her group had seen here just after the earthquake in 2010. Apparently a Haitian lady had gone into labor before the earthquake hit, and was at a hospital where they had cut her open to perform a C-section. Before they were finished the earthquake hit and everyone left the building, leaving the woman open on the table. The woman was able (only God knows how) to craw out from under the rubble and out into the street, still cut open. She passed out somewhere along the way and eventually was seen by this medical team that was on the ground right after the earthquake. There was apparently a good Samaritan somewhere that had attempted to sew the lady up out on the street, but had done a horrible job. This team was able to fix her up, and later she was able to find her baby. Many women here give birth on their own, in their home or wherever they are when they go into labor. For many there is no access to healthcare, for them or their children, and many die from things that could have been prevented. The certainly gives you a perspective on how often we complain in the US about having to wait too long to see a doctor, or the many other complaints we have about medical care. The fact is that we have it. We have access to healthcare that far exceeds anything people here have access to, yet we take it for granted every day.
Sunday morning I went with Sherrie, David, Micah, and Rachel to Port Au Prince Fellowship for church. This was the first time I had been to an American/English-speaking church here in Haiti. The church was full of American missionaries, and some Haitians. It was nice to sing songs that are familiar and in my own language, and to be surrounded by so many others that are also here serving from far away. There are lots of families here with small children that haven given up everything they had back in the US to come here for something far greater. The message for the service was based on Colossians 3:1-10 where Paul told the Colossians that if they are raised with Christ they are to seek those things which are above, not those things here on earth. In verse 8 Paul gives specific things we are to put off, such as anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and filthy language. The message in the service used an analogy of sailing to discuss how we pursue our walk with the Lord. If we are sailing there are many forces pushing against us such as the wind, the waves, human error, etc. In "trimming the sails" we skillfully adjust to changing conditions. If we are headed in the wrong direction we need to correct our course. Often this happens in small steps we take that over time can take us way off course. It is important to recognize these happenings while they are still small and make corrections needed along the way before we end up too far off course, drifting further and further from God.
The message provided several areas where we can make these wrong steps if we are not careful:
1 Seeking Signs - Matthew 12:38-42
We must be careful to not take coincidental occurrences and automatically assign God's voice to it. We must seek God's voice through our direct relationship with Him.
2 Doors - 1 Corinthians 16:9
Spiritually mature Christians will see a door as an opportunity to pray. Sometimes the rooms we enter have a bench, and we are to wait upon God's timing and direction. In Haiti so many opportunities present themselves because the need is so great. It is easy to get involved in too many things and get burned out or use your resources ineffectively.
Colossians 4:2-4
3 Human Reasoning - Proverbs 14:12
Following our own reasoning without following God's guidance is to lack faith in God, doubt our ability to hear God, or to be afraid that we might not want to hear what He has to say. We may fear what others think about what God is telling us to do, especially if it is life changing. This is particularly difficult when other Christians don't seem to understand that God could ask you to do something radical.
Proverbs 3:5-8
4 Busyness - Luke 10:38-42
Busyness is wrong when God is there. If God is doing something we need to stop. If we sense God is trying to tell us something we need to wait and listen. Too often we keep moving and do not alter our schedule to be able to hear Him. We cannot expect God to work His way into our schedule.
5 Flesh - 2 Corinthians 10:3
When we are transformed by grace, we start strong with our reliance on God, but as time goes by we try to take back more and more of ourselves, wanting to be in control. Galatians 3:3
Our ministry will move, not because of us, but despite us.
The preacher went on to explain that as leaders we often feel like we have to be strong, that we are supposed to have all of the answers. But we should be willing to let others see us as human, showing our weakness, willing to ask for help. This puts the glory back in God's hand. I know that every step of the way in this ministry I have struggled with not having the answers. I have questioned how in the world I could do any of this, because this is so outside of my comfort zone, but that is when I have seen God in the strongest ways - when I have known without a shadow of a doubt that He is in control. As a very smart lady I know says, 'God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called'. I am very thankful for that!
After we returned from the service, I headed to the house to meet a lady that was coming to clean. Bless her heart, she started at about 11:30 and worked hard until almost 6 pm. Everything was so dirty and dusty. Today (Monday) she will return to finish the last two rooms. The floors were so shiny when she was finished!
While she was cleaning I was working on cleaning out some of the shelves and putting tin gas away. It was great to see things start going into the house! I am so thankful that this house has so much storage built in!
Mr. Richard, who is just wonderful, came down to the house to help me talk with Madame Bertha. We made arrangements for taking care of the remaining security bar installation on the upstairs doors and windows. We also talked to her about getting a dog and she was very happy about that, telling me that yes she knows that is important. It was a good day and I feel like we got quite a few things accomplished! Now, today I will work on getting some furniture and other supplies so we will be ready for our October 19 trip back down here!
Have a blessed day!
Patricia
Sunday, September 29, 2013
New friends and opportunities
It has taken me a while to get to this post, but I have a
lot I want to share. I won't be able to get caught up on everything tonight, but at least it is a start!
I arrived in Haiti on Saturday, and Edmond picked me up
at the airport. As soon as I walked in here at Sherrie’s and got my welcome hug
from that amazing lady, I saw David and met two new friends who were visiting
from North Dakota: Travis and John. David asked me if I was hungry, and I thought
it seemed a bit early for dinner. Well the group was going out to dinner at a
restaurant in Petionville just a little later. So I joined them. It was Sherrie,
David, Micah, Rachel, Travis, John, Kaitlyn, and myself. Traffic was crazy, but when we got there we
were amazed at this place. It was in the city, but it looked like we had just
passed over into a completely different place. It looked like a rainforest. It
was beautiful! We had outside seating and they had a live band (which was a
little loud since we were right by one of the speakers). I have always known
that things move slower in Haiti, but this dinner experience brought slow to a
new level. But it was a beautiful place with good food and amazing company!
Then it started raining. Hard. I have never really been here during the rainy
season, but my goodness does it pour! We got wet getting back to the truck, and
speaking of the truck. We had driven the white truck which is a small, 4 door
pickup with no bed cover, and it is a stick shift. So, the 8 of us crammed ourselves
into the truck piled on top of each other. Sherrie somehow managed to take a
picture of us, maybe because she was bent in half with part of her body riding
between the two front seats. It was quite the ride! At least with all of the rain
traffic was almost nonexistent coming home, but the big bumps were interesting,
and sometimes painful. There is no better group to be crammed into a pickup
truck with!
The next day, Saturday, I went with David, Micah, and
Rachel to run some errands. They had to go to Agope Flights and I was able to
arrange for another new friend, Elisabeth, to meet us there. Here is a cool connection - Elisabeth is also a friend of Ryan and Heather Forman! She went to market with us and then came back home with us. She and I walked
down to the new house and I showed her around and told her about what we were
going to be doing. On the ride back home she had told me about the organization
she works with, KOFAEL, which provides micro loans to women who are trying to
get on their feet. They have 42 women in this program now and it operates right
here in Delmas 31! Elisabeth lives in St. Marc, but comes down once a month to
be here for the group’s monthly meeting. The everyday details of working with
this group are taken care of by this amazing Haitian couple I also had the privilege
of meeting that day. Frantz and Julienne. They are engaged to be married this
December and are so on fire for helping women and serving the Lord. Frantz and Julienne walked down to
the house and we showed them around and shared with one another some of the passions we have for
working with women. I was very impressed with them and how much they give of
themselves to help others in their community.
Saturday was also the day for the monthly meeting, so the
four of us walked down Delmas 31 to the location they use for their meetings. I
always enjoy getting out and walking around Port Au Prince. It is so much more
real to get out and walk with Haitians, buy water from someone selling on the
street market, etc. The place that KOFAEL meets was very dark and crowded, and
Elisabeth had mentioned that they were hoping to find a new place to meet. I
told them that they are more than welcome to start using our ministry center
starting in October. They were thrilled and said they had been praying for this
for some time. They announced the change of location to the ladies before the
end of the meeting. So the first scheduled activity in our new center will be a
monthly meeting with 42 beautiful Haitian women who are working to make better
lives for themselves and their families. What a wonderful beginning!!! This
also gives us the opportunity to interact with these ladies to find out what
else we can do to assist them on their journey. I know we are going to need
volunteers to come down and help train Haitian ladies that can then train other
Haitian ladies in a variety of skills that they can put to use in their lives.
Building up these women in a sustainable way will also help them keep their
children, many of which would otherwise have ended up in an orphanage or sent
to live as a restavek. Please keep this partnership in prayer. It is a
wonderful opportunity for two ministries to work together to serve the people by
pooling their resources instead of duplicating efforts. The people working with
KOFAEL often come across women that need assistance but don’t fall into
guidelines for the micro loan program. With Hope for My Sister we will be able
to take referrals of women that KOFAEL feels we can serve but they cannot.
I can't wait to see what God does with these new friendships! More to come soon!
Goodnight from Haiti!
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